Personality Disorders, Stress

Breakup Self Care

You cannot destroy me

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Breaking up with someone you fell hard for has got to be one of the most difficult situations you can find yourself in, especially when you’re battling a mental health issue such as Borderline Personality Disorder. It takes all of the energy and life out of you, and it leaves you feeling abandoned by the person you cared about the most – yet again. It feels like the world is going against you, and you get to a point where you question whether you’ll ever find ‘the one’.

Self care following a breakup is important, particularly when you’re battling with poor mental health. You need to take steps to keep yourself safe and, ultimately, to heal. I ran back home for the summer so that I’m around people who love and care about me, and to get me out of the place that would remind me of what has gone on. I’ll have to face reality eventually and see those reminders, but right now I do not need it and that’s the biggest act of self care I could have done.

If you get triggered by messy breakups then you need to take steps to prevent you from hurting yourself. I find the colour coded system to be quite beneficial, and it’s like traffic lights in a way. If you’re in the red then you need help immediately because you’re relapsing badly and are at risk – this is when you need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling or seek support from a crisis line or head into A&E where you can be safe. Yellow/Amber is where you’re not your best but you are starting to get bad, this is an ideal time to prevent yourself from relapsing in the first place. Speak to people you know and trust, get that moral support that you need. Start distracting yourself in the ways the help you best. Get out of the house and do something to preoccupy yourself. Whatever it is that helps you, do it when you’re in the yellow rather than waiting for the red. Green is when you’re in a good place, but this does not mean self care is not needed. Take steps to keep you in the green, do things you enjoy doing and keep yourself filled with positive reinforcement. It isn’t practical to say you can always be in the green because, well, life has its ways of throwing a spanner into the works. But with steps such as this in place you can keep yourself safe even when you do begin relapsing.

Self care is vital in dealing with those breakup blues, I guess what I’m trying to say is you need to continue living your life and you need to keep yourself safe and healthy. Nobody is worth hurting yourself over, so take care of yourself. It can be difficult to stay strong and move on, but you have the power within you to deal with this. You’ve possibly dealt with similar situations before, so you can most certainly do it again.

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