I’ve learned to get really good at this – say one thing when I’m thinking about something else, act like I’m listening when I’m not, pretend to be calm and happy when I’m really freaking out. It’s one of the skills you perfect as you get older – Lauren Oliver
In this short and to the point audio clip I discuss what I really mean when I utter those words “I’m okay”. Usually when I say I’m okay, I’m probably not. I’m probably filled with anxiety and I’m likely over thinking way too much. I’m potentially thinking about my past and all the things that have happened to me and I’m sure to be hating the fact that I have to deal with everything I do.
When I say “I’m okay” I’m really pleading for help, praying that someone, anyone, will notice that I’m just saying that so as to not bother anyone. I’m actually pleading with you to notice I’m not okay and that I need help and someone to talk to.
People with mental health issues so often don’t want to put their burden onto others. We so often neglect ourselves and what we truly need (to let it all out) so that we can not come across as annoying or bothersome to those we’re close to.
I’m getting much better at talking about my experiences with loved ones in my life, but that doesn’t make it any less of a challenge and it doesn’t mean I don’t find it harder and harder every time I have to repeat my issues to someone.
I often fear of seeming repetitive and as though I’m always feeling the same way about the same problems. Don’t get me wrong, it usually is the same stuff bringing me down, but that’s because I’m still healing and it’s because I’m stil finding ways of coping with it all. It doesn’t mean I’m in any less need of help.
I think as a group of people we need to get more comfortable with the idea of saying “Do you know what? I’m not okay. I’ve had a shitty time of things and, honestly, I just need to vent”. Only then will we start getting out power back. Our silence is the victory of those who hurt us in times gone by.